Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Update. On me. That's legit.
My lord, it's been a long time since I wrote here. Why? Because, like most I found Instagram and FaceBook and someone killed Flickr and who the hell has time for Twitter? Mostly, I quit writing here because, I got lost in the game. The game of the crafting community and what the rules were. I'm pretty sure I would have lost regardless. I'm not really great at listening to authority or even the norm truth be told.
Fact: I grew up... just under the scope of middle class. This meant, I was taught to be happy with what was given, grateful for any opportunity, and be respectful of others above you. You stay quiet and keep hidden.
Honestly, what in the world does someone like myself do after you have achieved standardize success in this crafting community so quickly after beginning? You've been interviewed in local papers, radio programs, own a successful blog, have sponsors, written about in magazines, contributed to multiple quilting books and even had your own compilation book written and currently still being reprinted by your publishing company for the 6 -7 time???...
Fact: I learned then and still make every choice I choose to (in my control) made on an ethical and moral scale. I believe the right decision is typically the hardest road to travel. My feet are callused! This gave my family a grueling young life.
Well... if you're me, you leave it. Yes, I still have relationships with certain fabric houses and many "true" friendships (not industry niceties, I let those go), however... I just couldn't find it in me to jump through the hoops. Do you know these hoops? Hoops so damn big you lips better be the size of Texas to kiss the ass of the person hoping through them first... that one you're following??.... Nah...
Fact: I owned my first home, was married and 23 when my second son was diagnosed with autism. I left nursing school to fight that monster, proudly. It was the scariest thing I've ever done. The rest of this shit (life) is chopped liver to that. I'm human so eventually, I taught myself how to sew as a stress outlet as to not loose my mind. I needed something and I had a certain "dream killer" who said, "You can't make one of those."
So, after a whirl wind affair with quilting. I took a long break. I liked it. I learned how to feed my body and how to exercise out all my additional anxiety that my particular lifestyle brought to the table. It was brilliant. Then... I got bored.
Fact: You know where you place in my life if I've said, "I'll go to war for you." and I was by your side in your fight, because I never leave. I'm a stalwart solider to those I love. In the moment, the current, in the future, I remain quietly in their arsenal, always. It's my thing.
That was when... knitting came up. Once, easily shot down as a ridiculous notion, twice as a frustration of impotent nature and finally as a challenge of ability. I was not one to back down to battles of health difficulties and/ or moral principles, let alone and especially to "string." So, again I taught myself. Yet, this outlet felt different from my first. It was a "want" and not a "need." That was new.
Fact: What I create comes from my spirit, my soul. I don't "make" for money, I "make" for creation. For the art of beauty. I decided a long ago past moment, that I'm only truly interested in fostering the idea of making the world more beautiful, by relationship and/ or Art. I mean... isn't it truly ugly enough on it's own?
Then came the dyeing of fiber. What happens when you mix a quilter with blank fiber... you get an Indie-dyer. It's only a matter of time if you look around. I'm certainly no pioneer in this ideology. Although, I do hope (narcissistically) that mine... do actually bring something else beautiful to the table. Could be wishful thinking though.
Fact: I wrote this as an introduction to who I am today (if you're familiar with me), or who you might just be meeting to explain what and who I am. Whatever I "make", I made it that moment while I was feeling. And not only did I not take advantage of that time, I revealed in it. Did I mention... I'm a bit saucy?